If you could only see
by vastare
Summary: If you could only see the way she loves me, then maybe you would understand, why I feel this way about or love and what I must do.


**If you could only see **

**By: Anime-Goddess-Sakura**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha **

* * *

"_I love you, Sesshoumaru." _

He shook his head as he tried to banish those thoughts. The silver haired young man sat there quietly gazing at the half full glass of red wine on the table in front of him. The lights in the restaurant illuminated the dark burgundy liquid, making it seem almost blood red.

A sardonic smirk appeared on his lips as he was reminded of the blood stains on the white sheets after he had taken her innocence.

'Kagome.'

Her name sent a shiver of unknown emotion through him, making him tighten his hand around the glass. For once in his life, he wasn't sure about what he was about to do. He had always been a person that knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it. Confusion and doubt weren't something that he knew, that was until he met her…Kagome Higurashi.

She was so young compared to him, only twenty two years of age, unlikehim whom was already twenty eight. She was carefree, young, exuberant and innocent, everything that he wasn't and still…she fell in love with him.

'_I love you.'_

He closed his eyes as he tried to recall her sweet smile and her innocent blue eyes that seemed to share with him every secret that she knew and every feeling that she possessed. She understood him on so many levels and she didn't judge him, not even when he left without saying a word to her.

He was momentarily distracted by the soft violin music that reached his ears. He opened his bright golden and turned to gaze at some violinist that was playing a soft romantic tune. His gaze shifted from the violinist to all the happy couples sitting in the restaurant and he mentally cursed himself for choosing this location to do what he was about to do.

A soft growl left his lips as he thought about Kagome once again. He wasn't supposed to care about her, she had just been a fling, but he just couldn't stop thinking about her, even though he was engaged and was getting married in two weeks.

She was like a breath of fresh air that brought life to her otherwise cold and boring life. And he had only realized too late that he needed her, he ached for her,his angel. Yes, that was what she was to him, his angel. The one that soothed his soul and brought that peace that he desired so much.

'_I love you, Sesshoumaru.'_

How could such simple words shatter everything and yet at the same time open his eyes at the same time?

His golden eyes shifted to the silver ring on his ring finger, his engagement ring. It was amazing how one simple piece of jewelry could mean so much. To some it was a promise, to others a curse…to him…it was a lie. It was supposed to represent the love between two individuals and the courage and determination to share a life together.

Yet to him, this ring meant absolutely nothing at all. It was just a piece of metal. Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to scowl at the nonsense as he took a sip from his glass of wine. The taste was slightly bitter and dry as it traveled through his throat, not even his favorite drink seemed to be able to offer him some kind of peace tonight.

As he settled the glass down, he couldn't stop himself from gazing at his fiancée. His sunkissed eyes slowly studied her, taking in every little detail. She was beautiful; no one could deny that the woman was indeed one of the most breathtaking female specimens to have ever walked the earth.

Her long ebony colored hair was held up in an intricate bun with wisp of hair framing her heart shaped face. His gaze traced her peach colored skin that glowed healthily, with not even a blemish in sight. She possessed a very elegant and aristocratic face, with full coral lips, large almond shaped eyes and high cheekbones.

Her eyes, which were in his opinion the most beautiful of her features, were the color of amethyst, almost resembling red sometimes as her mood changed. Not only that, but Kagura had the body that many would kill for, she possessed that perfect hour glass figure, that made many men drool and many women glare at her enviously.

At the moment she wore a designer label red strapless dress that hugged those perfect curves, while small jade earrings hung from her ears. All in all she looked like a goddess, many would say.

He looked away, wishing that she would just leave. For the more he looked at her, the more he wondered what had attracted him to her.She was fake...

He didn't even have to look up to know that his fiancée who was sitting across from him was wearing a similar looking ring, except hers was adorned with a large diamond. A diamond which she had insisted on, seeing that she could not wear a simple ring, she was far better than that. Or better said she was far more spoiled than that. She was daddy's little girl that would get everything she wanted.

Yet he knew that if he ever presented Kagome with a simple silver ring, she would be happier than Kagura had been with her diamond one, just for the fact that she loved him.

_**If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do  
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
When she says she loves me**_

"Sesshoumaru."

He was momentarily distracted from his thoughts by his fiancée's soft voice. He raised his golden eyes to be met with amethyst ones, which were slightly narrowed at him. He knew that she didn't like to be ignored and apparently by the look on her face, she knew that he had been doing just that.

"I swear, it's almost as if you're in another world. You haven't paid any attention to me since we got here. What's going on with you?" She asked clearly angered, while her amethyst eyes were glaring daggers at him.

Not blue, he noted with resentment. Her eyes were not blue, not like hers…

"Sesshoumaru!" her voice cut through his thoughts like a knife, sobering him up for the moment.

He pulled slightly back as he ran a hand through his long silver hair, all the while wishing that he could just leave. Mentally berating himself, he decided it was time to get the whole thing over with.

"Kagura." He said in a soft voice hoping to calm the fuming woman.

Kagura might have been raised in high society and followed all the proper etiquette, but she had a very nasty temper. And he just didn't feel like dealing with a hot tempered female at that instant, even though his subconscious knew that what he was about to tell her would probably seal his fate so to speak.

She quieted down, but by the look on her face, he could tell that she wasn't happy, not even one bit.

"Kagura, I think we should call this engagement off." He said calmly, his face as blank as ever and his voice unwavering.

The shock was clearly evident on her face as she tried to comprehend his words. He watched in mild amusement as her face twisted in anger as she tried to keep her temper at bay, all the while trying not to loose her composure, knowing that a lady of her class would not loose her cool under any circumstances.

However it was proving harder than she had anticipated as her eyes flashed dangerously and her lips twisted in a furious snarl.

"What do you mean? Why do you want to call off our engagement? How can you do this to me? Don't you care about our companies' merger?" She snapped, not being able to contain her anger any longer.

_**Well you got your reasons  
And you got your lies  
And you got your manipulations  
They cut me down to size  
Sayin' you love but you don't  
You give your love but you won't**_

"Is there someone else? Who is she?" Kagura exclaimed, slamming her fists on the table, making the glass of wine almost topple over and stain the white table cloth.

By now the whole restaurant was gazing at them, but she didn't seem to care. She would not loose him, not like this. She was his.

_**If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do  
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
When she says she loves me**_

"Kagura." Sesshoumaru was trying to calm her down, not wanting to attract more attention to them.

"What nonsense has she gotten in your head? She doesn't love you. She's probably just after your money!" The dark haired woman exclaimed, her words cutting through him like a sharp blade.

He narrowed his eyes at her, his anger spiking as he heard Kagura speak so carelessly about Kagome. she didn't even know her, so she had no right whatsoever to judge her. Kagome's feelings were genuine; he knew this by the sincerity and truth he had seen in her blue eyes after he had made love to her.

He was mentally fuming as he glared coldly at Kagura, making the dark haired woman finally shut up. She knew that Sesshoumaru wasn't to be messed with, when he was angry and by the looks in his eyes, he was furious. However not even how much he wanted to snap at her at the moment, he knew that it would not do any good. So he took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself.

Kagura was fortunately smart enough and seemed to notice that her anger wasn't helping her and decided to use another approach. Her amethyst eyes seemed to glisten with unshed tears as she reached for him and her whole demeanor changed.

Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to pull his hand away as she clasped his larger hand into hers, her features softening.

However as he gazed into her eyes, he could not see the sincerity in those twin pools of amethyst, nor the love that he wished was there, no instead he saw a woman who didn't want to loose her 'possession' to another.

Kagura had always gotten what she wanted, no matter what and Sesshoumaru knew that to her, she was just another possession, a way to get a better life and to preserve her way of living.

"Think about our parents, Sesshoumaru. The marriage between us will ensure the union between our two companies. My father is getting old and he needs someone like you to take over the company…I need you." Kagura pleaded, making Sesshoumaru frown.

For once she was speaking the truth. Their marriage would make sure that the companies became one, something that his father had been working on for a long time. The merger would suit both companies, but was it really that important to him?

The picture of a raven haired woman with blue eyes flashed through his mind and he felt his resolve weakening. He knew that if he did break up with Kagura, he could kiss that merger goodbye and his father would not be happy.

Not only that, but his father would probably not approve of Kagome either, the woman was a simple teacher and her family wasn't rich at all. In a certain sense she was far below his status in his father's eyes, unlike Kagura who came from a wealthy family.

So was it really worth it to throw everything away for a simple woman? Was Kagome really worth it?

_**Seems the road less traveled  
Show's happiness unraveled  
And you got to take a little dirt  
To keep what you love  
That's what you gotta do**_

"You know I love you, Sesshoumaru." Kagura said gently as she squeezed his hand, hoping that he would reconsider.

"Please don't let some stranger come between us." He followed their entwined hands, but no feeling of sympathy was forthcoming.

He knew that Kagura did not mean, what she was saying. Her words were only words, without any significance at all.

**_Sayin' you love but you don't  
You give your love but you won't You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there  
Sayin' you love where you stand  
Give your heart when you can_**

Golden eyes clashed with amethyst as he raised his face to gaze at her. Kagura was beautiful, but she didn't possess that inner beauty that Kagome possessed, nor did she possess her heart.

Kagura was all about the status and wealth, their marriage would only be one of convenience. His fiancée wanted a husband that could give her everything that money could buy and a husband that fitted her parent's and their society status.

_**If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do  
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
When she says she loves me**_

Yet when it came to love, Kagura just didn't love him.

_**Sayin' you love but you don't  
You give your love but you won't  
Sayin' you love where you stand  
Give your heart when you can't**_

He closed his eyes and pulled his hand away from her and stood up. When he opened his eyes once again, he could see the curiosity and slight fear in her eyes. She knew what he was about to do. He reached for his engagement ring and slowly took it off, only to throw it in the glass of wine. He watched satisfied as the ring sunk to the bottom of the glass, resembling their relationship that was over as well.

"Goodbye Kagura." With those last words, he turned and walked away, closing that chapter in life.

He didn't stop not even when he heard her calling out his name and he certainly didn't stop as he heard her crying, for he knew that she didn't love him, not like Kagome did.

And as he exited the restaurant, he made a vow to buy some flowers and visit the woman that he loved.

Yes, he did love her, it did take him some time to realize it, but now he knew that he did love her, now if only everyone else could accept and understand him.

_'I love you, Sesshoumaru.'_

It was strange though how those four soft spoken words had changed his whole life, but as he gazed at the dark sky, he couldn't stop the smile from appearing on his face, for he knew that his life had only changed for the better.

_**If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about or love  
And what I must do  
If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says  
When she says she loves me**_

****

**_End_**

* * *

**_Yay, my first one shot, so peeps, just let me know what you guys think. _**


End file.
